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Good Afternoon, News: Multnomah Poised to Go “Low Risk,” Remembering George Floyd, and a Grand Jury for Trump

by Wm. Steven Humphrey

Protesters march across the Morrison Bridge demonstrating against the police murder of George Floyd, June 3, 2020.

Protesters march across the Morrison Bridge demonstrating against the police murder of George Floyd, June 3, 2020. Wm. Steven Humphrey

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IN LOCAL NEWS:

• After filing their equity plan to show how they’re getting vaccines to underserved communities, Multnomah County is expected to move into the “lower risk” category on Thursday, meaning restaurants, gyms, and more can begin allowing up to 50 percent occupancy—still with masks though, unless they’re checking vaccination cards, Sparky!

• At least three demonstrations are planned for tonight in the Portland area to remember George Floyd who was suffocated to death at the hands of former Minneapolis officer Derek Chauvin. Follow our Alex Zielinski or the Mercury on Twitter tonight for the latest updates.

• A high school in Central Oregon was forced to go back to online learning after a COVID-19 outbreak put nearly half of all students and staff into quarantine. (Let’s hope that community is seriously considering Gov. Brown’s $1 million lottery for the vaccinated!)

• Are you having FEELINGS about reemerging into the world following the pandemic? You are not alone! In our Spring Reawakening Guide, we gathered up a bunch of questions from justifiably skittish people like you and asked a very talented professional counselor to answer them. Read it, it will probably make you feel better!

• You’re SMART, right? Well the Mercury needs your SMART opinions to help us improve our coverage. So offer your SMART opinions in our MERCURY READER SURVEY right now, please! (You can win prizes and stuff!)

IN NATIONAL NEWS:

• President Biden met with the family of George Floyd on the anniversary of his murder at the hands of Minneapolis police, while a policing anti-violence bill in Congress that’s named after Floyd remains stalled due to… you guessed it, obstructionist Republicans.

• Speaking of obstructionist Republicans, Senate Democrats are getting tired of the GOP’s constant stream of cock-blocking bullshit, and are pushing Biden to agree to passing an infrastructure package without Republican help.

• But don’t worry! Republicans are keeping themselves very busy… insuring that more Americans die. For example, Texas Gov. Greg Abbott says he will sign a bill that will allow cowardly Texans to carry handguns WITHOUT OBTAINING A LICENSE. (What on earth could possibly go wrong?)

• Welp, it certainly took them long enough (more than five days, in fact), but GOP leaders—including House Minority Lackey Kevin McCarthy—have finally spoke out against Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene’s insane and offensive comparison of COVID safety measures to those who perished in the Holocaust.

• New trouble for Trump: After two years, the Manhattan DA has convened a grand jury to decide whether Florida’s most infamous retiree—and/or those in his corrupt organization—will be indicted on criminal charges.

• The makers of the Moderna vaccine are seeking approval from the FDA for those as young as 12 years old, saying their doses trigger the same immune response in teens as it does for adults.

• RIP the brilliant Samuel E. Wright, who voiced Sebastian in Disney’s 1989 The Little Mermaid, and has died at the age of 74.

• HUMP! HUMP! HUMP! If you enjoy sexy stuff (and I know you do), get your tickets NOW for HUMP’s Greatest Hits, Volume 3—THIS WEEKEND—featuring some of the best short sex flicks from 15 years of HUMP! HUMP! HUMP!

• And now… THE WEATHER REPORT: Drier tomorrow with partly cloudy skies and a high of 73.

• And finally, if there’s a better gift to give a My Neighbor Totoro fan, I haven’t found it!

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