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by Dan Savage

I’m a 45-year-old cis woman. I’ve been married to a cis man for almost twenty years. About a year and a half ago, I made out with a woman at a party, and everything clicked. I realized something was missing in my life, and I started exploring my attraction to women with my husband’s blessing. I had always felt attracted to women but didn’t fully acknowledge it, thinking it was normal for “straight” women to be attracted to other women while only dating men. (I’ve since learned about compulsory heterosexuality.) I met a wonderful woman, and we dated for over a year. While I was with her, I realized I’m gay. We spent a lot of time together, I had the best sex of my life, saw shows, went out to dinners, had sleepovers, met each other’s kids. It was a real relationship. But she ended things because I wasn’t…

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