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GOOD THANKSGIVING MORNING TO THEE & THINE, FELLOW PORTLANDERS! 👋

Expect some fog and clouds today, but little to nothing in the way of rain (thank god), and a high of 47. Not because you asked, but here are my top three pieces of advice for Thanksgiving Day. 1) Don’t play flag football—unless you want a pulled groin muscle. “Stretching out” means nothing to your groin, which will do what it wants and will definitely make you pay for ignoring it. 2) Don’t eat any unmarked brownies unless you have absolute confirmation they aren’t filled with weed (unless you’d prefer them filled with weed). And for the love of god, if you’re putting out a plate of pot brownies, CLEARLY LABEL THEM. 3) Practice laughing at people who say stupid, inappropriate things at gatherings. Instead of arguing or trying to win them over to your opinion (which will NEVER happen), just laugh and say, “Ooohkay, cha-cha!” Then walk away and talk to someone more interesting. I hope your day is great, which is scheduled to start start exactly 10 seconds after you complete reading today’s NEWS!

IN LOCAL NEWS:

• For the better part of a century, the Ross Island Sand & Gravel company have been mining the area inside and around Ross Island in the Willamette River, and have permanently altered the area (not for the better). But now the state DEQ is issuing a mandate for the company to start cleaning up their mess, which would go a long way into eliminating the toxic algae blooms that have been aversely affecting the wildlife and recreation in the area. So what’s next? Our Taylor Griggs has all the details in this fascinating story.

For 75 years, Ross Island Sand & Gravel mined the bottom of the Willamette River in the Ross Island lagoon. As the company carries out a long reclamation plan, newly proposed DEQ rules could limit its harmful water quality impacts in the short-term.⁠

www.portlandmercury.com/news/2024/11…

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— Portland Mercury (@portlandmercury.bsky.social) November 27, 2024 at 3:43 PM

• As promised, New Seasons workers went on a one-day strike yesterday to protest management’s alleged refusal to institute better wages and benefits—a negotiation that has been going on for TWO YEARS. Bargaining sessions are expected to continue next week. 

• Good news in Salem (unless you’re a Republican): Oregon Democrats have won a supermajority and control of both houses, thanks to Woodburn Democrat Lesly Muñoz who came from behind to win her race in House District 22, defeating the incumbent, Republican Rep. Tracy Cramer. This big win will allow Democrats to go further in protecting the state from Trump’s evil machinations, as well as making members of the state’s GOP absolutely furious, which in turn always makes me smile. 😊

• Meanwhile, outgoing Republican US representative Lori Chavez-DeRemer—who recently lost her District 5 race to Janelle Bynum and was tapped to become Trump’s labor secretary—allegedly received a pipe bomb threat at her home in Happy Valley. Other Trump nominees claim they received threats as well, and an investigation is underway by the FBI.

• In the ongoing St. Helens High School abuse scandal, Principal Katy Wagner is facing criminal charges for neglecting her duty to report two St. Helens teachers who have been accused of second-degree sexual abuse. Wagner, who has been charged with two counts of first-degree criminal mistreatment, two counts of first-degree official misconduct, and two counts of second-degree official misconduct, has turned herself in to police where she was arrested and later released to await trial. 

In our Hear in Portland music column this week: We’re touting an irreverent post-holiday country show on Friday and an evening of drag, music, and comedy at the end of December.

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— Portland Mercury (@portlandmercury.bsky.social) November 27, 2024 at 9:44 AM

• OH! And lest we forget, this coming Monday heralds the beginning of the Mercury‘s HOLIDAY DRINK WEEK, featuring 22 absolutely delightful, cheery cocktails from the best bartenders in the city—and they’re only 8 bucks each! Miss it at your Scrooge-y peril.

IN NATIONAL/WORLD NEWS:

• Today in “flat-out Trump lies”: The incoming orange turd is loudly proclaiming victory in his war against illegal immigration, following a phone call with Mexico’s president Claudia Sheinbaum. Trump is saying Sheinbaum “agreed to stop migration through Mexico” (which of course is false), while Mexico’s president says her country is already doing enough and will not be closing its borders. So when your racist Uncle Robby brings this up at the Thanksgiving table, remember my earlier advice and respond with “Ooohkay, cha-cha!”

If anyone does anything stupid at the dinner table tomorrow, be like Leslie jones www.tiktok.com/t/ZTYkB42qS/

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— Tricia Romano (@tromano.bsky.social) November 27, 2024 at 8:57 PM

• Meanwhile, Trump’s pick for head of the Department of Health and Human Services, Robert F. Kennedy Jr., is facing heat for comments he made in 2019 labeling the CDC as “fascism,” while comparing child vaccination to… *checks notes*… the Catholic Church’s pedophile scandal? Reminder that this all comes from someone who is infamous for kidnapping a dead bear cub and cutting off a whale’s head—so maybe this was just his brain worm talking. 

• In an overnight attack, Russia’s Vladimir Putin is claiming his country hit 17 targets in Ukraine, including “military facilities, defense industry facilities and their support systems,” while adding the strike was in direct response to Ukraine using US missiles on Russian territories. Hundreds of thousands of Ukrainians are without power following the attack.

Sean “Diddy” Combs will remain in jail after a judge rejected his latest attempt for release while the rapper and music producer awaits trial on charges of sex trafficking and racketeering conspiracy.

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— CNN (@cnn.com) November 27, 2024 at 3:58 PM

• You know what? Canned cranberry sauce has enough of a bad reputation without this headline piling on: “Some of those Ocean Spray cranberries come from a bog in Massachusetts.”

• And finally… I could spend my entire Thanksgiving weekend watching these excellent voice dubs of Disney movies. GIVE THEM THEIR OWN NETWORK!

@lambo.licia Replying to @It’sNunnaYoBizness ♬ original sound – Lambo Licia 🐾🥊