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GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND! 👋

Surprise! The sun will return this week (after a few scattered showers today and tomorrow) with highs in the mid-40s, just in time for your Thanksgiving festivities… and here’s my annual reminder that you have no business playing touch football at your age. You’re just going to fuck up your knees and back, while also probably pulling a groin muscle. JUST SAY NO. Eat an edible and crash on the basement couch instead. Just another wise public service announcement from Wm. Steven Humphrey, and now let’s read some public service NEWS. 

IN LOCAL NEWS:

• Union workers at New Seasons grocery stores in the area have announced they intend to stage a one-day strike on the day before Thanksgiving (AKA one of the busiest shopping days of the year—though if you do shop on that day, you’re an amateur and should reexamine how you do things in general). Eleven New Seasons stores in Portland and Beaverton will be involved in the strike in response to what union leaders are calling management’s refusal to deal with specific issues including starting wages, reduction in holiday pay, and wage cuts for those in higher unionized positions. Management has until today to respond to the warning, or else the walkout goes on.

President-elect Donald Trump has chosen Republican U.S. Rep. Lori Chavez-DeRemer as his nominee to lead the Labor Department.

Read more here: www.oregonlive.com/nation/2024/…

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— The Oregonian (@oregonian.bsky.social) November 22, 2024 at 5:01 PM

• Oregon Secretary of State LaVonne Griffin-Valade is refusing to further investigate a potential campaign violation by former City Council candidate Ben Hufford, who tried and failed to ride Commissioner Rene Gonzalez failed coattails into office. In a Willamette Week article, Hufford was accused by 11 witnesses of telling 150 people they would be allowed into his bar if they donated $10 to his campaign (instead of paying a $20 cover fee… both of which sounds insane to me). Griffin-Valade says her office will not be pursuing the case, since the bulk of the evidence is the WW‘s article. (Has anybody thought to ask the 11 people who witnessed the violation?) Anyway, the decision will most likely be appealed, because… C’MON!

• Good news for Portlanders (and bad news for the Oregonian and rich folk who depend on high crime rates to push their conservative agenda): There has been a 63 percent drop (!) in reports of stolen vehicles since March 2022. Portland Police are patting themselves on the back for the significant decrease in car thefts—though it’s important to remember the cops admitted to lying in 2021 about there not being enough officers to enforce traffic laws in order to trick city council into increasing their already bloated budget. So in actuality, all the police did to improve those stolen vehicle rates was… *checks notes*… do the work we pay them to do. 🙄

• If you’re flying out of PDX for Thanksgiving this week, give yourself some extra time, because holiday travel is expected to almost return to pre-pandemic (AKA verrrrry busy) levels, with 1.7 million more people traveling as opposed to last year. Oh, and PRO TIP: If you find yourself with some extra time at the airport, heed the sage advice of our Suzette Smith, and get your holiday shopping done at some of those super cute stores at the airport!

Feeling fancy? You’ve got a bunch of new food & drink options, including champagne at Fancy Baby, seafood towers at Jacqueline, and duck “Spam” musubi at Canard. Plus, find out where to snag teriyaki ice cream and pudding shots. It’s the week in Portland food news! 😋

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— Portland Mercury (@portlandmercury.bsky.social) November 22, 2024 at 2:32 PM

IN NATIONAL/WORLD NEWS:

• Portland’s airport isn’t the only place heating up for holiday travel; a whopping 30 million people across the nation are expected to be in the air and on the road this Thanksgiving week. However, smooth travels may be stymied thanks to a storm system that’s bringing rain and snow to a large portion of country, as well as a strike at the very busy airport in Charlotte, North Carolina, where workers are demanding an “end to poverty wages” as well as “respect on the job during the holiday travel season.”

• 👀

The Paris Council has requested that SUVs be banned from urban areas across France.

eutoday.net/paris-calls-…

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— David Zipper (@davidzipper.bsky.social) November 25, 2024 at 6:06 AM

• Israeli prime minister Benjamin Netanyahu has agreed “in principle” to a ceasefire agreement with Hezbollah in Lebanon, and the Israeli cabinet is expected to vote on it tomorrow. That said, Israel and Hezbollah are currently still trying to kill each other, and the deal is tenuous at best. 

• Ding-dong, Matt Gaetz’s political career is practically dead—and while there’s much to celebrate after the accused sex trafficker stepped away from his Attorney General nomination last week, Trump has even more alleged sex abusers and enablers lined up to join his cabinet. Still in the running: Pete Hegseth, chosen to run the Defense Department, Robert F. Kennedy Jr., who’s all set to ruin the Department of Health and Human Services, and former WWE co-founder Linda McMahon, the absolutely laughable choice to head up the Department of Education. However, some Republicans are signaling they will fight these nominations as well, if they can screw up the courage to disobey their cult leader. We’ll see, I guess!

When your goal is to sidestep checks on your power, you do stuff like claim that 52 percent support for a vaguely articulated policy is proof of popular demand. 
www.washingtonpost.com/politics/202…

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— Philip Bump (@pbump.com) November 25, 2024 at 7:49 AM

• While billionaire dipshit Elon Musk is threatening to buy MSNBC (and presumably destroy it, just like he did with Twitter) which is sending a chill of the spines of progressives, there are reportedly other—far more reasonable—billionaires who would step in to buy the network if it were for sale (which it currently is not). So feel free to continue ignoring that billionaire dipshit.

• Rest in dirt, dirtbag.

Chuck Woolery, the host of “Love Connection,” “Wheel of Fortune” and other TV game shows, who later became a co-host of a popular right-wing podcast, died on Saturday. He was 83. nyti.ms/4eOTxkO

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— The New York Times (@nytimes.com) November 24, 2024 at 9:27 AM

• And finally… should’ve stopped at 723.

@bfowlds 724 #fyp ♬ original sound – bfowlds