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Her boyfriend wants permission to hire sex workers. Is this a case of irreconcilable differences?

by Dan Savage

My boyfriend wants my permission to see sex workers. He did this quite a bit before we were together. He goes to Canada, where it’s legal and supposedly safer. He says he’s just trying to be open and honest about his desire for variety and that I should be glad he doesn’t want to cheat. To me, that sounds like a thinly veiled threat to cheat with or without my permission. He says it’s not like that. Ideally, he — a 56-year-old man — would prefer a sexually open relationship, while I — a 48-year-old woman — would prefer more of a monogamish situation. We were friends for twenty years before we started dating, we have great sex (though not as much as I would like), get along wonderfully otherwise, and have a lovely time together. This is definitely our biggest issue. Am I being closed minded, and prude to…

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