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GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND! Things could get a little wild (weather-wise) today with lots of showers along with the possibility of hail and even lightning, with the high topping out at a cool 52 degrees. (But the sun returns in earnest this weekend!) Now let’s get down with some slightly wild NEWS.

IN LOCAL NEWS:

• The off-duty Alaska Airlines pilot who was hitching a ride in the cockpit of a Horizon passenger jet… and then had a freakout, trying to shut off the engines in mid-flight, has been charged with 83 counts of attempted murder. And according to court records, the man said he had been suffering from extreme depression, and at the time of the incident, was on psychedelic mushrooms—for the first time in his life. Take it from someone who knows, NEVER take mushrooms and get on a plane! (Do I really have to warn you about this?)

🤖 “Avoid all robots until further notice.”

Oregon State University gives ‘all clear’ after receiving a threat of a bomb inside their food delivery robots:https://t.co/XoxdElxKL1

— Cata Gaitán (@catalinagaitan_) October 24, 2023

• In other horrifying news, here’s some more information about that Portland man, Samson Garner, whose plan to murder multiple people at a climbing competition at Smith Rock last weekend was foiled by cops. GULP:

Here’s what I found on Samson Garner’s dad… who killed his own dad and ate part of his brain. https://t.co/abiPQUVEuk pic.twitter.com/ccgDVwJbKd

— Leah Sottile (@Leah_Sottile) October 25, 2023

• As we all know, Portland Public School teachers have voted to go on strike starting November 1, unless they come to a contractual agreement with the district. (Psst. No sign of that happening yet.) So if you’re a parent that’s biting off their nails over what to do with your kid, here’s some questions that you may want answered.

• Police have identified two people who were hit and killed by drivers in Portland last weekend. Brandon Coleman was struck and killed by a hit-and-run driver downtown, and James Brian Fenimore was killed by an intoxicated driver who has a history of mental illness and yet was still given permission to operate a two-ton vehicle. 

• Fans of musical theater will perk up over the news that the classic hippie musical Hair is making a welcome appearance at Portland Center Stage—but does it still hold up? Our Taylor Griggs has the review.

Audiences will likely remember “Hair” as the musical with naked people in it before they recall its iconic songs, like “Aquarius” and “Let the Sunshine In,” trailblazing racial inclusiveness, and unquestionably relevant anti-war message.https://t.co/9muaJpc3BA

— Portland Mercury 🗞 (@portlandmercury) October 24, 2023

• The Oregon Supreme Court has decided to hear a case from five crybaby, runaway Republicans who say they should still be able to run for election after they abandoned their jobs earlier this year—even though it was a direct violation of the voter-approved Measure 113. The court has indicated they will put the case on the fast track, so these feckless losers will know whether or not they can run and therefore continue wasting everyone’s time.

He has dreams of being a Dom, but there are… complications. What can he do to prepare? Dan Savage has the advice we crave in this week’s SAVAGE LOVE!https://t.co/ygsV7JbDZB

— Portland Mercury 🗞 (@portlandmercury) October 24, 2023

IN NATIONAL/WORLD NEWS:

• The GOP House (AKA Republican clown car) is still without a leader, though they’re expected to give it another try, this time with Louisiana Rep. Mike Johnson being the latest victim who will be voted on today. But is he any better than loser shit head Jim Jordan? Well, let’s put it this way: He voted against certifying the 2020 election, he’s an ardent Trump supporter, is anti-abortion, railed against giving aid to Ukraine, and hates gay and trans people. So in short: NO. He’s a loser shit head, too.

‘Shut Up!’ House Republicans Boo, Heckle Reporter For Asking Speaker Nominee Mike Johnson About ‘Effort to Overturn the 2020 Election’ https://t.co/sWisIjJC42

— Mediaite (@Mediaite) October 25, 2023

Mike Johnson is currently the cosponsor of at least three bills that would ban abortion nationwide pic.twitter.com/UI4DyDEZ6B

— Biden-Harris HQ (@BidenHQ) October 25, 2023

• Things are getting increasingly desperate for the people of Gaza, after critical supplies like food and water have dwindled down to almost nothing, and several hospitals are no longer functioning. Meanwhile Israel’s government seems befuddled about why this is a bad thing. The latest death tally: More than 6,546 people have been killed in Gaza, while 1,400 have lost their lives to the conflict in Israel. Meanwhile, there has apparently been progress in talks to release the more than 200 hostages being held by Hamas, according to  Qatar officials who has been in contact with Gaza’s terrorist government.

• And out of nowhere comes Hurricane Otis, a devastating category five storm that has slammed into Mexico near Acapulco, and is causing disastrous floods and mudslides. It’s being called the strongest such storm on record to hit the area.

Breaking news: Hurricane Otis made landfall near Acapulco, Mexico, early Wednesday as a Category 5 hurricane with 165 mph winds, the product of the most extreme storm intensification ever observed in the northeast Pacific Ocean. https://t.co/T5HXMg8UxL

— The Washington Post (@washingtonpost) October 25, 2023

• RIP the great Richard Roundtree—the actor best known for playing that “bad mother… shut your mouth” Shaft in multiple films from the ’70s—who has died of cancer at the age of 81. 

• And finally… if a witch does turn you into a kitten this week, can you maybe just keep it down?

pic.twitter.com/Rn2XGcp6HD

— Tweets of Cats (@TweetsOfCats) October 25, 2023