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by Wm. Steven Humphrey

Here’s your daily roundup of all the latest local and national news. (Like our coverage? Please consider making a recurring contribution to the Mercury to keep it comin’!)

• First things first, the BIG NEWS OF THE DAY: Joe Biden has picked Sen. Kamala Harris as his running mate, making her the first woman of color on a major party’s presidential ticket. While I know most of you are rejoicing over the news, for those who aren’t, our Blair Stenvick will help you process this new revelation with her excellent/hilarious article, The Five Stages of Kamala Harris.

Headed to drop off our mail-in ballots for #BidenHarris2020 like…pic.twitter.com/7YgRVQMEOn
— Young Democrats of America (@youngdems) August 11, 2020

Better bring his wife or he won’t even be allowed to talk to her. https://t.co/FFKU2XUVa7
— Ronald Funches (@RonFunches) August 11, 2020

• Speaking of elections… PANIC! Today is Special Election Day in Portland which you’ve probably forgotten about because of… EVERYTHING. But fear not: There’s only one race you have to worry about. If you’ve yet to cast your ballot in the Portland City Council runoff between Dan Ryan and Loretta Smith, make sure you drop it in a Multnomah County dropbox before 8 pm today. Here’s our endorsement pick for this race.

• In other good voting news: “A Record 76% of Americans Can Vote by Mail in 2020.” (That is if Trump and his corrupt band of cronies don’t figure out a way of screwing it up—and believe me, they are working on it.)

• Locally, new (and very progressive) Multnomah County District Attorney Mike Schmidt announced today that his office will limit the types of charges that Portland Police have been using to arrest protesters during nightly demonstrations—including “interfering with a police officer.” Our Alex Zielinski breaks it all down for you.

• Speaking of protests, if you are a white person who has been feeling pretty proud of yourself for showing up to the nightly demonstrations, the very smart Pharoah Bolding has a harsh, but true bone to pick with your “performative allyship” in this excellent guest editorial.

Guest editorial from @pharoahbolding: When it comes to the nightly local protests, “Performative allyship is Portland’s preferred form of racism.”https://t.co/SBzqh3ys8C
— Portland Mercury 🗞 (@portlandmercury) August 11, 2020

• If your out-of-town relatives have been asking you why Portland “rioters” have been “burning Bibles” during the protests, and you’ve been responding, “HUHHH?” That’s because it’s just the latest in a Russian disinformation campaign to sway the election.

• Seattle Police Chief Carmen Best has stepped down from her position, claiming that Seattle City Council didn’t consult her when they cut 50 percent of the police department’s budget. Here’s your reminder that Portland’s city council only cut a teensy 3 percent from PPB’s budget.

• While new positive COVID cases have been slowing down a tiny bit, deaths are on the upswing with the OHA reporting 11 additional people dying of the infection since yesterday.

IN MORE NATIONAL NEWS:

• In an interview with conservative dumb-butt Hugh Hewitt, Trump said, “If I don’t win the election, China will own the United States. You’re going to have to learn to speak Chinese, you want to know the truth.” I’d love to learn how to speak Chinese.

• In other “blatant Republican racism” news: “GOP House candidate criticized for selling ‘COVID-19 made in China’ mask.”

• The man who was shot yesterday by Secret Service agents outside the White House was reportedly screaming threats… but was unarmed.

https://t.co/QTI1bU8UWQ
— Forbes (@Forbes) August 11, 2020

• Russia is the first country to approve a coronavirus vaccine, but scientists are extremely wary since the country has failed to provide any hard proof of its effectiveness.

• The Big Ten and Pac-12 conferences are postponing college football this fall (that includes your beloved Ducks and Beavers) due to the COVID pandemic, and in spite of Trump’s knee-jerk reaction in which he tweeted “DUHHHHH… play football sport!!” (We’re paraphrasing, but not by much.)

• Ghislaine Maxwell, cohort and helper to dead sex offender Jeffrey Epstein, is complaining about the “uniquely onerous conditions” inside a New York federal jail where she is being watched (and for good reason) every minute.

• Wait… there’s a Dr. Pepper shortage? Okay, I guess there’s a Dr. Pepper shortage.

• Want to support the Mercury AND look like a million bucks? Buy our newest “RESIST” T-shirt created by local artist Sloane Leong that comes in black, white, yellow, and teal and is perfect for anyone who wants to protest in style!

• THE WEATHER REPORT:Somewhat cloudier and cooler tomorrow with a high of 76.

• And finally, this guy should narrate every nature show ever made.

Florida Geographic 😭😭😭 pic.twitter.com/wduNmvzE8D
— Young Simba (@Mufaa6) August 11, 2020

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