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Good afternoon, Portland! It’s time to get out your light, breathable rainwear because it might rain tomorrow morning! I’m getting out my bonnets and strapping on the news.

IN LOCAL NEWS:

• In a clear case of what seems like a ‘you problem,’ City Council candidate Rene Gonzalez requested the city reconsider the fine his campaign received after they were found to be renting office space from Portland businessman Jordan Schnitzer at a 96 percent discount. News Editor Alex Zielinski reports.

• Should Portland have a comics museum downtown? A robust 21-person board—composed of some of your favorite comics professionals—is working to found a museum called the Northwest Museum of Cartoon Arts.

• THIS IS A DISGRACE. Willamette Valley filbert (hazelnut to you philistines) farmers will likely only be able to sell their crop for approximately half of what they could last year. The filbert is our state nut! Where is your pride, Oregon?

• We love to see a former Mercury contributor move onto a worthy news team. Bring us that pumpkin truth, John! It sounds like I’m kidding, but you do want to know about the green pumpkins, right?

Expect greener jack-o’-lanterns in parts of the PNW this year.https://t.co/hDlSrAPFw7

— John Ross Ferrara – KOIN 6 (@JohnRossFerrara) September 27, 2022

• In this week’s Savage Love, if you manage to reconcile with your wife—after she fucked your best friend—how do you navigate your now non-monog marriage? Dan takes it back to basics.

IN NATIONAL / INTERNATIONAL NEWS:

• A 38-year-old Iowa man received 86 months in prison after he pleaded guilty to “assaulting, resisting or impeding” officers during the Jan 6 Capitol riot. Among his charges, prosecutors said Kyle Young supplied another rioter with a taser that he used on a then DC officer,  Michael Fanone, who had a heart attack due to his injuries. “What do I think Young deserves?” Fanone wrote in a CNN op-ed. “Not less than 10 years in prison. And an assigned cell in maximum security with his co-conspirator: Donald Trump.”

• Forecasters expect Hurricane Ian to sweep west of the Florida Keys tonight before making landfall south of Sarasota. Florida residents are in a variety of states—from evacuation to home fortification.

• The polydactyl Hemingway House cats of Key West, who will likely only weather tropical levels of storm predictably remain unperturbed:

 

 

 

 

 

View this post on Instagram

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A post shared by Hemingway Cats from Key West (@hemingwayhomecats)

• If you had dreams of visiting Price Edward Island’s Teacup Rock, consider them dashed. As Hurricane Fiona rampaged across Canada—after devastating Puerto Rico—she blew the ding dang rock clear off. (Or it was a spaceship this whole time, and took this opportunity to jet—you tell me.)

• At my school, the paper was mostly a queer haven and an opportunity to talk to people during the other lunch hours (not the worst instinct, actually). But this is what it was actually supposed to be like, I assume:

@georgeisnotfunny There’s something about this Principal…#prom #highschool #robotics #news #robogate #journalism ♬ original sound – georgeisnotfunny