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GOOD AFTERNOON, PORTLAND! Okay, first let’s check the weather, and… oooooh-WEE! It is HOT out there! You look like the perfect candidate for a $6 boozy, frozen cocktail courtesy of your fave local bars and the Mercury‘s SUMMER OF SLUSHIES. Slurp ’em up, and slurp a bit of this NEWS, too! (That was an ungraceful transition.)

IN LOCAL NEWS:

• Today in “Whoops… Never Mind!”: A scant five days after announcing their hire for a brand-new “civilian training dean” position—who is a LAPD police sergeant—the Portland Police Bureau has retracted the job offer… and aren’t really saying why? (But I bet ya five bucks the reason is SPICY!) Our Alex Zielinski has the latest.

Mayor Wheeler will be announcing an emergency declaration tomorrow related to gun violence. I’m guessing it’s related to the Ceasefire program he teased a few week’s back: https://t.co/DhelV4HVKG

— Alex Zielinski (@alex_zee) July 20, 2022

• In more local cop drama, the city of Portland ONCE AGAIN has to pay out a buttload of money due to the excessive violence of Portland Police during the 2020 racial justice demonstrations. This time $55,000 is going to two independent Portland journalists who were victims of excessive force from the cops during the summer of 2020, just for trying to, you know… DO THEIR JOBS.

• Due to rising COVID-19 cases—spurred by the highly transmissible BA.5 subvariant—the Oregon Health Authority is urging everyone to start masking up again to avoid placing too much strain on hospitals who are having trouble keeping up with patient care.

• The city of Boise, Idaho, is doing their best to circumvent the short-sighted ambitions of power-hungry Republicans by passing a resolution saying that they will NOT be asking their local law enforcement to investigate abortion providers.

In this week’s SAVAGE LOVE: Two couples try to open up their sexy relationships… aaaaand things don’t work out quite as planned. But don’t fret, Dan Savage rides to the rescue! 🤠https://t.co/LNwaSheWKF

— Portland Mercury 🗞 (@portlandmercury) July 20, 2022

IN NATIONAL/WORLD NEWS:

• Following a surprising show of support from House Republicans, the heat is now on for GOP members of the Senate to either hop on the bus or torpedo a bill that would protect same-sex marriage in federal law.

A Georgia law banning most abortions was allowed to be enforced Wednesday after an appeals court overturned a lower court’s pause on the state’s 2019 “heartbeat” measure.https://t.co/f5envCoAeA

— The Washington Post (@washingtonpost) July 20, 2022

• Meanwhile bipartisan legislation in the Senate that would close the loopholes in election law (that allowed Trump to do his dirty business and clarify the vice president’s role in counting electoral votes) is gaining some welcome interest on the Hill.

• Uh-oh! After refusing to show up for a hearing, a judge has ORDERED bumbling traitor Rudy Giuliani to testify in Georgia’s investigation of election interference in the state.

• Very much related: “Wisconsin House speaker says Trump called him to overturn 2020 results — 20 months after election.”

• Again… related! After only calling two witnesses, federal prosecutors have rested their case against Trump toady Steve Bannon, after he clearly defied a subpoena from the January 6 committee. The defense will launch its (shaky) case tomorrow.

• Okay, you got me… I will watch:

H.E.R. will play Belle in the blended live-action/animated special Beauty and the Beast: A 30th Celebration, airing on ABC this December: https://t.co/uZQRQlkPSK pic.twitter.com/fnKdSfZZf9

— Consequence (@consequence) July 20, 2022

• And finally… animals at the grocery store. THEY’RE JUST LIKE US!

me after insisting i’m only getting a couple things, I don’t need a basket pic.twitter.com/AyCif3GL1p

— I hope this is satire… (@sablaah) July 20, 2022