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Good Afternoon, News: A Sketchy Plan to Curb Gun Violence, Punishing Runaway Republicans, and Trump Lawyer to Spill His Guts

by Wm. Steven Humphrey

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Former White House Council Pat Cipollone—who allegedly pushed back against Trump—will FINALLY testify before the Jan 6 committee.

Former White House Council Pat Cipollone—who allegedly pushed back against Trump—will FINALLY testify before the Jan 6 committee. Alex Wong / Getty News

GOOD AFTERNOON, PORTLAND! Expect those clouds to push away tomorrow afternoon to expose a sunny-sun and a high of 76! Now, allow me to expose you to some NEWS.

IN LOCAL NEWS:

• A somewhat dubious police oversight group tasked with improving Portland’s admittedly abysmal gun violence rates is expected to push a controversial gunshot-detection technology on city council, which—surprise!—has a history of adversely affecting communities of color. Our Alex Zielinski has all the details.

• The man suspected of attacking a father and his 5-year-old child of Japanese descent on the Eastbank Esplanade is being charged with various crimes, including two counts of first-degree bias crime, second-degree bias crime, harassment, fourth-degree assault, second-degree attempted assault, and third-degree attempted assault.

• Lucky you, this fall you will be able to vote on whether or not we should punish state legislators (looking hard at YOU, Republicans) who walk off the floor rather than casting votes on issues they don’t like and bringing state government to a standstill. Can you guess how I’ll vote? HEE-HEE-HEEEEEEEEE.

• Get well soon to Democratic candidate for governor, Tina Kotek, who has tested positive for COVID-19. Thanks to being vaccinated and boosted, she expects to be back to work after a few days of resting up.

• Do you love nachos with all your heart? YES, YOU DO!! That’s why you’re gonna flip ass-over-teakettle for the Mercury‘s NACHO WEEK: $6 plates of creative nachos from some of the most skillful snack makers around town—and it runs from July 11-17! DO NOT MISS THIS DELICIOUSNESS!

IN NATIONAL/WORLD NEWS:

• Christmas has come early for the January 6 committee investigating the domestic terrorist attack on the nation’s capitol—after much public chastising, former Trump lawyer Pat Cipollone, who apparently pushed back against the president’s many attempts to overthrow the election, will now testify before the committee on Friday—though not publicly. Oh well, I’m prepping the popcorn anyway, just in case!

• More info is emerging from the tragic July 4 mass shooting at a parade in Illinois: The person charged with murdering seven people has not only confessed, but admitted he was plotting a second attack at another event in Madison, Wisconsin, but decided against it because he wasn’t “fully prepared.” (After all, he only had one more rifle and 60 rounds of ammunition.)

• Today in “C’MON BIDEN!!”: “Emails show White House intended to nominate anti-abortion judicial candidate on day of SCOTUS ruling.”

• The former star of the Netflix series Cheer, Jerry Harris, has been sentenced to 12 years in prison on child sexual abuse charges. (Which is why I’m “Team TVCC.”)

• THIS JUST IN: Alleged sex cannibal/actor Armie Hammer is NOT working as a concierge in a Cayman Islands’ resort. Just in case you were wondering.

• And finally, for those who ignored Portland’s fireworks ban on the Fourth… this one’s for you.

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