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Good Afternoon, News: Driver Shortages Lead to Bus Route Cuts, DOJ Subpoenas Fake Electors, and City Settles with Twerker (Twerkist?)

by Wm. Steven Humphrey

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City pays protester $75,000 after riot cops falsely arrest her... for twerking.

City pays protester $75,000 after riot cops falsely arrest her… for twerking. Mathieu Lewis-Rolland

GOOD AFTERNOON, PORTLAND! First things first… have you SEEN the drool-worthy photos of all the sandwiches in the Mercury‘s SANDWICH WEEK? Tell you what, take one look and kiss your diet goodbye, ‘cuz you’re gonna wanna DEMOLISH every single one! But hurry, Sandwich Week ends this Sunday. (Now that’s some news you can use!) Here’s some more NEWS YOU CAN USE.

IN LOCAL NEWS:

• OOF! TriMet’s hiring woes have gotten so bad, the agency reports they’ll be reducing or canceling service on ten bus lines (!!) in September. WHAT HAPPENED? Our Isabella Garcia explains it all for you.

• Welp, the cops have done it again! The city has paid a whopping $75,000 (of YOUR tax money) to pay off a Black woman who was falsely arrested during a 2019 Black Lives Matter march. What grievous crime did she commit? TWERKING IN THE CROSSWALK in front of a truckload of riot cops to the NWA song, “Fuck Tha Police.” (I say throw in a Nobel Prize!)

• It’s gonna be a HOT ONE this weekend with temps soaring up to the 90s—and Multnomah County is already prepping cooling centers for those most vulnerable to the heat.

• Move over, Sandwich Week!

• Here’s the worst news you’ll read all day: “Fireworks go on sale Thursday in Oregon.”

• In this week’s SAVAGE LOVE: It’s okay to have sexual preferences… but when is it a “preference” and when is it just flat-out “racism”? Dan Savage takes on the thorny-horny issue.

• Hey, there’s a (somewhat new) cool outdoor festival to attend: the Dundee Lodge Campout in Gaston, Oregon, which is like an itty-bitty Pickathon! Our Suzette Smith has the deets.

IN NATIONAL/WORLD NEWS:

• President Biden is pushing a three month-long “gas tax holiday” as a gift to struggling drivers—though it’s unfortunate climate change doesn’t take a holiday. Anyway, it has to be approved by Congress first, and that’s gonna be an uphill fight.

• Hey, it’s not all about the Jan 6 panel! The Justice Department is starting to flex as well, issuing subpoenas to political activists in at least two states who allegedly helped Trump push invalid electors in his attempt to overturn the 2020 election. (BTW, the next Jan 6 panel hearing—the fifth so far—kicks off tomorrow at noon PST... so get your popcorn poppin’! And because so much new evidence is pouring in, the panel has postponed the rest of this month’s hearings until July so you can get ALL the juice.)

• While the Senate seems on the verge of approving “not-great-but-better” gun legislation, shit-head Republicans in the House are intent on killing it in order for the killing to continue.

• Things are not looking great for Ukraine, as the Russians are closing in on taking over two key cities which would, in effect, mean Kyiv forces will be surrounded.

• And finally… OMIGOD! That weird grey egg has EYES!!

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