TopFeatured.com

This one’s for those of you who act like you understand life in a city, but have failed to pick up basic-ass public transportation etiquette:

If you’re going stand by the doors for the entire ride, move out of the way of the exit when the train stops. Not your stop? It might be someone else’s. Don’t want to lose your spot by the exit? Step out onto the platform so people can get off. Believe it or not, it’s possible to reboard before the doors close.

If you’re riding with your bro buds and you want to talk loudly about how awesome your sports are going, please note that nobody else gives a shit. If I can hear you over my headphones, you’re too loud. Few things are douchier than yelling—maskless—on a crowded train. Leave the yelling for the inevitable future emergency. *These rules apply similarly if you’re riding with your bridesmaids on your way to a gay bar where you’re (still) not invited.

Say you’re able-bodied and you’re enjoying your commute seated comfortably in a packed car and a person who’s less able boards. (I can’t believe I am writing this). Stand the fuck up and offer them a seat. Don’t wait (and this based on true events) for the elderly blind man with a prosthetic leg to shout desperately into the din, “Please! Somebody let me sit down,” you rude motherfuckers.

Finally, when taking one of the few working escalators in town and you don’t feel like climbing the steps, stand as far to the right as possible. I know it’s hard to believe, but most of us have better places to be than stuck behind your ass, the asses of your dumb gaggle, or your oversize suitcase.

[ Comment on this story ]

[ Subscribe to the comments on this story ]