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Elon Musk: Clearly the most trustworthy human alive. Pool / Getty Images

GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND! Another mixed bag of weather for the weekend, but at least it’s not raining frogs, right? (I wish I hadn’t said that.) LET’S GET INTO SOME NEWS!

IN LOCAL NEWS:

• After resubmitting their ballot measure that would suck money away from permanent housing for the homeless and put it into temporary shelters, lobbying group People for Portland have failed for the second time to have their proposal approved by Metro lawyers, who, ALSO FOR THE SECOND TIME, let them know that the language in the initiative is unconstitutional. (I’m starting to think People for Portland are serial failures who don’t care much for the constitution!) Our Alex Zielinski has all the pathetic details.

Home to three of Portland’s major venues, over 10,000 people can flock to the Lloyd District on any given night. Transportation officials want to manage traffic in the area and incentivize public transit use by raising parking prices during events. https://t.co/cfZI7b0HqU
— Portland Mercury 🗞 (@portlandmercury) April 14, 2022

• Okay, prepare for your brain to bleed out of your ears: Health workers and staff at OHSU received an email sent by hospital administrators that promised $7,500 to “all employees who are experiencing financial hardship as a result of the coronavirus pandemic.” All they had to do was hit a link to get more information, and… surprise! It turns out the money offer was actually a hoax meant to teach employees not to fall victim to phishing schemes and be swindled… by their own bosses? WHAT THA F—???

• What’s it like to work in Portland City Hall for six years, particularly under the divisive rule of Mayor Ted Wheeler? Find out in this Alex Zielinski exit interview with Wheeler’s most veteran staffer, Seraphie Allen. (Which occasionally gets VERY spicy!)

🚨 Starbucks workers in Seattle have walked out and are on strike!!! 🚨

Their demands include:
☕ safe, adequate staffing
☕ cease unevenly enforcing policies
☕ stop union busting tactics

Come support the workers on the picket line at 5th and Pike in downtown Seattle!!! ✊✊✊ pic.twitter.com/sfwACRtd9b

— Stan🌹 (@strsta11) April 15, 2022

• Thinking caps on! It’s time for another super fun POP QUIZ PDX, this week featuring quizzy Qs about Portland news, the worst karaoke songs, and futuristic cars (from the past)!

Classic rock is in the air with tours announced from legendary Beatles drummer Ringo Starr and Led Zeppelin frontman Robert Plant with bluegrass-country icon Alison Krauss. Plus, two alt-rock doubleheaders will play McMenamins Grand Lodge this summer. https://t.co/rHBI9XTyIF
— EverOut Portland (@EverOutPortland) April 14, 2022

IN NATIONAL/INTERNATIONAL NEWS:

• Putin’s forces and Ukraine are gearing up to fight what could be the bloodiest battle yet for control over the eastern part of the country, as the Russians are getting closer to completely taking the city of Mariupol after weeks of carnage. Meanwhile, following the sinking of a Russian missile-firing ship in the Black Sea, Putin vows that attacks will continue on the city of Kyiv.

A day in the life of Ukraine Prosecutor General Iryna Venediktova, whose every waking moment is devoted to uncovering war crimes against her people — and seeking justice. https://t.co/OSJJyQKyB0

— The Associated Press (@AP) April 15, 2022

• Feckless shithead/Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis is the latest to sign a draconian anti-abortion measure into law, as this newest legislation will ban the medical procedure 15 weeks after pregnancy, thereby limiting even more people from access to abortion in the deep south.

• Speaking of feckless shitheads, two Republicans in Congress have been busted for sending text messages to Trump’s former chief of staff Mark Meadows, offering advice on how they could overthrow the election.

New: In a string of LAPD shootings, officers fired bullets & ‘less lethal’ rounds at the same time, giving the latter no time to work.

They’re part of a spike in LAPD shootings of people w/ knives, and are spurring calls for change.

W/ @brittny_mejia:https://t.co/2N4NYXpT62

— Kevin Rector (@kevrector) April 15, 2022

• Today in HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!: “Elon Musk wants to buy Twitter, make it ‘maximally trusted’.” HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!

• AHOY THERE, STONERS! The SPLIFF Film Festival—featuring short, hilarious, trippy, and thoughtful mini-movies about cannabis and made by stoners just like YOU—is coming to Revolution Hall for one night only TOMORROW Saturday, April 16! GET THOSE TICKETS NOW! (And speaking of the munchies, your favorite week of the year is almost here: It’s the Mercury‘s PIZZA WEEK featuring $3 specialty slices at 28 locations across the Portland area, starting Monday, April 18-24. Eat ’em up!)

• And finally… FRIDAYS, amiright?

The new toy is a big hit. 😴😂🐈‍⬛🪶 pic.twitter.com/fcSPClXhOD

— Fred Schultz (@FredSchultz35) April 15, 2022

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