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Good Morning, News: Feds Crack Down on Violent Portland Cops, Massive European Floods, and the Moon is Wobbling (Well, That’s Just Great)

by Wm. Steven Humphrey

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The Feds crack down on Portland cops for their violent reaction to Portland protests.

The Feds crack down on Portland cops for their violent reaction to Portland protests. Mathieu Lewis-Rolland

GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND! Baby, love really hurts without you. Love really hurts through and through. And it’s breaking my heart, but what can I do without you? LET’S GO TO PRESS.


• The Department of Justice has once again been forced to step in and police Portland’s violent police force, giving them nine directives to accomplish which includes holding supervisors responsible for approving the violent response shown toward protesters last summer, establish a transition plan for its new cop oversight board, and (most interestingly) outfit all officers with body cameras. Our Alex Zielinski has a great deep dive into what it all means.

• In more stubbornly violent cop news, consultants hired to oversee training of the Portland Police crowd control unit (that responds to protest) called the lessons “disappointing,” adding that the team’s officers didn’t take it seriously, that the instructor was dismissive of the court-ordered training, and didn’t (according to the O) explain “the difference between physical resistance and active aggression.” In response, the cops did what they always do: BLAME EVERYONE EXCEPT THEMSELVES. (I know “defund the police” are supposedly dirty words… but give us a fucking break!)

• And yet even more police news: A grand jury has exonerated a Clackamas County cop for the June 7 deadly shooting of Jeremiah Lee Wright, who (according to video) was driving a stolen car and carrying a loaded weapon.

• If you’re consistently annoyed by the politicized bureaucracy of Portland’s commission style of government, take a peek at this A+++ explainer by our Alex Zielinski about how a new commission is working to change the city’s charter review for the better! (Read it, and you will automatically be smarter on this subject than 98 percent of the people you know.)

• Strong winds helped clear away some of the heavy blanket of smoke that covered much of Southern Oregon during the past couple of days, though officials warn the smoke will return and start covering larger swaths of the state. (You didn’t get rid of those N95 masks, did you?)


A massive flood sweeping through Germany and Belgium has taken the lives of more than 100 (so far), with as many as 1,500 people missing after torrential rains caused rivers to burst through the banks, flooding streets and destroying buildings. Experts are pointing to (you guessed it) climate change as the cause.

• Speaking of climate destruction, the moon is going into a “wobbling” period, which normally wouldn’t be much of a concern, except that due to climate-induced rising seas could cause massive flooding in coastal cities by the mid-2030s, according to NASA scientists.

• According to a new book by Washington Post reporters Phil Rucker and Carol Leonnig, top generals in the Pentagon were (perhaps rightly) worried that the megalomaniacal Trump would try to stage a coup after losing the election, and were determined to stop it. (Though according to Trump, it’s questionable if they could’ve.)

• Very much related: House Minority Colluder Kevin McCarthy visited Trump yesterday to kiss his ring and receive his marching orders on what GOP members should be doing to regain the House and put the loser president back in power. (Now might be a very good time for Dems to prioritize voting rights!)

• Speaking of team players, Dem. Senator (and occasional obstructionist) Joe Manchin has signaled he will probably go along with the $3.5 trillion budget resolution that will push forward many of the president’s priorities. (Or at least he won’t immediately blow it up before it gets off the ground.)

• According to an FDA official we may be expecting COVID vaccines for children 12 and under by the middle of winter.

• The reviews are in for the LeBron James/Looney Tunes flick, Space Jam: A New Legacy, and… oh, dear. They are not good.

• Too hot for ya? Get ready for a cool July because the Mercury‘s SUMMER OF SLUSHIES is serving up $5 delicious, boozy frozen concoctions from your fave bars all damn month long!

• And now… THE WEATHER REPORT: Mostly cloudy today with a cool high of 76—but the sun returns tomorrow to start another sunny string of days with highs in the mid-80s.

• And finally… woof! What a week! I am gonna get SO HIGH this weekend, and… wait. Maybe not.

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