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When the twitchy, entitled bourgeoisie come into town from Clark or Washington County to take our jobs, police us, or buy up all our oil-rubbed bronze drawer pulls — while whining about the homeless tents, rioters, liberals, hippies, and our beloved roving bands of rapists — I invite them, politely, to shut the fuck up and douche elsewhere. Portland is intentionally not Austin or Palo Alto or whatever Bread Pudding Land currently gives whiney, frightened closeted Trumpists stiffies. We’re working our shit out, our way. If you hate Portland so much, leave. And take your pouty, BooBoo Kitty, racist cops with you. Cops who tear gas us or club us should at least live within the city limits.